Why Narcissists Give Advice on Matters They Are Not Doing

Narcissists often present themselves as supreme authorities on a wide range of topics, even when they lack actual knowledge or expertise in those areas. This behavior is deeply rooted in their inherent belief in their superiority and their delusional perspective on their own capabilities. They have a knack for convincing others that they know what they are talking about, even when they do not. This phenomenon can be puzzling, especially for those who are unfamiliar with the dynamics of narcissistic behavior.

Manipulation Through Mirroring

People with a god complex tend to mirror the behavior and attitudes of those around them. This mirroring can be a form of manipulation, where the narcissist uses advice they have received from others to mislead and control situations or conversations. The advice they give is often not their own but appears to be, making them seem more knowledgeable and authoritative than they actually are.

Neurological Factors and Alexithymia

Sometimes, a narcissist’s lack of knowledge on a specific subject can be attributed to alexithymia, a psychological condition that limits the expression of emotions and the ability to identify feelings. This can result in the individual providing advice in a manner that seems off-topic or incoherent, as they may lack the emotional context to discuss the matter effectively.

Drawing from their experiences and their adeptness at improvisation, narcissists often engage in long-winded discussions. They have a tendency to use common phrases and patterns in language, which can make their advice appear consistent and well-structured, even if it is not. This linguistic style can be passive-aggressive due to their underlying neurology, making their advice and interactions more confusing and manipulative.

Examples of Narcissistic Behavior

Consider the following examples of how narcissists give advice or voice opinions on matters they do not truly understand:

Example 1

Scenario: A narcissist with significant experience in a variety of fields claims to have valuable advice on a topic they have never studied or practiced.

Narcissist: “My experience with a wide variety of circumstances and events in my life, combined with my excellent analytical skills and good intuition, makes me uniquely qualified to offer advice on matters outside my immediate expertise.

Analysis: This type of behavior is not uncommon and is more likely a sign of pathologizing ordinary human behavior. Unlike narcissists, neurotypical individuals often recognize their limitations and are more likely to seek genuine expertise when needed.

Example 2

Scenario: A narcissist gives advice on a technical subject they never studied, often resulting in advice that is riddled with inaccuracy or lack of context.

Narcissist: “I have been using [a technical term] for years, and I can tell you with certainty that [incorrect or oversimplified explanation].”

Analysis: Narcissists often produce advice that is overly confident and lacks detail. Their advice is more about reinforcing their self-image as all-knowing rather than providing accurate or practical information.

Example 3

Scenario: A narcissist gives emotional advice or guidance on relationships, despite having no personal or professional experience in the matter.

Narcissist: “In my experience, if you want someone to take you seriously, you should always speak in a certain tone, and never show vulnerability. This is what has worked for me, and it will work for you too.”

Analysis: This advice is often self-serving, aiming to reinforce the narcissist's status as an authority figure rather than offering genuine, helpful guidance. This behavior is rooted in their need for validation and their inflated sense of self-importance.

Behavioral Motivations

Narcissists often give advice on matters they do not truly understand for several reasons:

Motivation 1: Desire for Attention

Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration, even if the attention is not genuine. By giving advice, they can create the illusion of being knowledgeable and relevant, which satisfies their need for validation and importance.

Motivation 2: Protection of Ego

To maintain their facade of omnipotence, narcissists work hard to projects an image of perfection. By offering advice, they can distance themselves from their perceived shortcomings and reinforce their image of being superior to others.

Motivation 3: Manipulation and Control

Narcissists use their perceived knowledge to manipulate and control others. By presenting themselves as an authority figure, they can influence decisions and outcomes to their own advantage, creating a sense of power and superiority.

Understanding why narcissists give advice on matters they do not truly understand can help in recognizing and dealing with this behavior. It is important to approach such advice with skepticism and to seek out genuine sources of expertise when needed.