Why Does My Ex Lead Me On and Make Me Think He Wants Me When He Really Doesn’t?

It can be really confusing and hurtful when an ex seems to lead you on. Here are a few reasons why this might happen:

Mixed Signals

Your ex may have unresolved feelings or nostalgia for the relationship, which can lead them to act in ways that suggest they want to reconnect even if they don’t truly intend to. These mixed signals can leave you questioning their intentions and create a sense of uncertainty.

Attention and Validation

Some individuals enjoy the attention and validation they receive from an ex. Engaging in flirtatious behavior, without the intention of pursuing a relationship, can simply be a way for them to enjoy the game and receive emotional gratification.

Fear of Being Alone

Your ex might fear being alone and engage with you to fill that void. This behavior is often driven by a deep-seated fear or insecurity, rather than a genuine desire to rekindle the relationship.

Ambivalence

They may be unsure about their feelings and oscillate between wanting to be close and wanting to move on. This ambivalence can create confusion and emotional turmoil for the person on the receiving end.

Control

In some cases, leading someone on can be a way to maintain control or power in a situation. By keeping you emotionally invested, they create a sense of dependency that allows them to set their own terms.

If you find this behavior distressing, it might be helpful to set clear boundaries and communicate your feelings to avoid further confusion. Prioritizing your emotional well-being is important.

How Do You Know He Has No Intention of Returning?

Look for consistent patterns of behavior rather than isolated incidents. For instance, if your ex claims to love you and wants to be with you, but simultaneously takes actions that indicate a lack of commitment (like moving out), this could be a red flag.

Especially if your ex is your husband and you have children, it's crucial to prioritize the well-being of your children and your marriage. Communicate openly and work positively to address any issues.

Labeling and identifying the discrepancies between what they say and what they do is key. Often, manipulators will say anything to achieve their goals, and you need to be aware and assertive. Here are the key points to consider:

Hes trying to convince you that he loves you and wants to be with you, but: What he is doing implies otherwise (like moving out and not intending to return). He expects you to believe a load of lies—listen to your instincts and don’t let him manipulate your emotions.

If your ex is your husband and you have children, it's important to communicate positively and work towards saving your marriage. Don't allow someone else to fill his 'empty shoes.' Teach him the importance of honesty and commitment in the relationship. There is no question that he has made a conscious decision to move out and that he has no intentions of returning.

Here are the steps you can take to set boundaries:

Communicate your feelings and needs clearly. Establish mutual respect and understanding. Seek support from friends, family, or a professional counselor. Focus on rebuilding trust and moving forward in your life.

Ultimately, recognizing and addressing these patterns is crucial for your emotional well-being and the well-being of your family. By setting clear boundaries and communicating your needs, you can work towards a healthier and more fulfilling future.