Whom Should You Marry: The One Who Loves You or the One You Love?

When it comes to choosing a partner to spend the rest of your life with, the age-old question arises: should you marry the one you love, or the one who loves you?

Seeking Mutual Love and Respect

Both aspects are crucial for a harmonious and fulfilling relationship. It is ideal to find someone with whom you share mutual love and respect. These two elements form the foundation of a solid partnership and contribute to the long-term viability of the relationship.

Understanding Your Feelings

It can be a challenging decision, and it is essential to discuss your feelings and concerns with trusted friends or a counselor to gain a better understanding of what you truly want. If you are hesitant to open up, consider creating a Valentine's day greeting video for the one you love. Expressing your feelings and sharing your vision for the future can be a powerful way to build mutual trust and commitment.

A Common Path for Mutual Love

Identify common life objectives. Understanding what you need out of life can help you find a match that aligns with your aspirations. Love may not last if the aspirations are not met. External factors such as physical attraction or financial expectations can wane, but a shared vision for the future can endure.

Lessons from the Past

Scene 1: Follower and the Followed

This scenario occurred in my high school days. I became infatuated with a junior who was initially oblivious to my presence. Despite this, I made every effort to attract her attention through subtle gestures. Three months of making her notice me culminated in a heartfelt letter that I believed would express my feelings. The letter had a profound impact, and she felt extraordinary while reading it, leading her to say, "I love you." However, her words were merely a reflection of my influence, and the relationship did not last. The novelty of my presence eventually waned, and we decided to part ways.

Scene 2: The Turned Tables

The dynamic in the second scene flipped, and I became the one who felt 'exceptionally wonderful.' This character reciprocated my affection and felt that we shared the same life objectives. However, in retrospect, it was the circumstances and environment rather than the person that I loved. Once I got accustomed to them, the initial affection dwindled. She tried to convince me, but it was too late. The relationship ultimately failed.

Moral and Moving Forward

From these experiences, I learned that 'convincing' someone is not a guarantee of a successful relationship. Love is a mutual feeling that involves the same degree of caring, sharing respect, and involvement from both parties. If convincing someone is not the primary factor, should one never approach a person they love or never respond to someone who loves them?

No, that is not the message I am conveying. The key is to meet, hang out, and spend time getting to know each other better. True love often manifests in this way, where you may not realize your feelings until they become undeniable. For example, one day it might hit you, 'Fuck, we love each other.' This kind of love is unbreakable and free from the flaws that can undermine a convincing relationship.

Never overlook mutual love. Remember, if there is no mutual love, it is destined to fail. These lessons come from the characters I played in these scenes.

May your journey towards finding the right partner be successful.