Understanding the Traps of a Narcissist’s Attraction

When it comes to understanding the dynamics within a relationship with a narcissist, it's important to recognize that their attraction to you isn't based on your inherent value or beauty. Narcissists are notorious for being attracted to anyone they perceive as a potential supply source, whether it's a nurse in the hospital, a sexy neighbor, or a cashier at the market.

Uncertainty in Attraction

A narcissist's sexual interest or attraction isn't grounded in genuine appreciation for your qualities. They may be drawn to the nurse in the hospital, their sexy neighbor, or a cashier girl specifically because they can manipulate them easily. Even if they claim to find you attractive, this should not be taken at face value. As one might say, 'they would fuck a traffic cone if it paid them money or a compliment in return,' indicating a shallow and manipulative nature.

Poor Basis for Self-Worth

It’s important not to rely on a narcissist's words or deeds as a basis for your self-worth. They have a tendency to portray a distorted reality, using any means necessary to maintain their control. A narcissist, for instance, can reduce the most beautiful and intelligent woman in the world to feelings of inadequacy, simply through their manipulative behavior. This reflects their value instead of your inherent worth, and it's crucial to recognize this.

The Program of Control

A narcissist's manipulation is nothing short of an installation of a Deference and Compliance program. For instance, imagine a narcissist thinking, 'after I am done installing this Deference and Compliance program into Lollana my significant other, she will cease disrespecting me.' This goes to show that any affection or false admiration is conditional upon your compliance and deference to their demands.

Roles in the Relationship

In a relationship with a narcissist, your primary role is to serve as an attention provision source. The narcissist wants you to always make them feel good about themselves, and they expect you to comply with every whim they throw your way. This unconditional submission is a key component of the relationship dynamics.

Idealization and Devaluation

Relationships with narcissists often experience a cycle of Idealization and Devaluation. During the initial stage, known as idealization, the narcissist showers you with admiration and affection, making you feel sexy, fun, and exciting. They see traits of their idealized self in you, leading to a false sense of love and admiration. However, this period is often short-lived, and devaluation kicks in. During devaluation, the narcissist projects all their negative emotions onto you, escalating their behavior to reflect their true, often self-loathing, nature.

Exploitation and Punishment

The devaluation phase can be harsh and terrifying. A narcissist might punish you in various ways, from physical reprimands to emotional abuse, as they can't sustain the positive illusion. This phase can last for extended periods due to their deep-seated self-loathing and inability to integrate positive and negative traits in a balanced way. The narcissist may claim that you are responsible for their actions, using this to justify their behavior or to make you feel guilty.

It's crucial to step away from such a relationship and seek support from trusted friends, family, or professional counselors. Understanding the manipulative dynamics can help you take the necessary steps to prioritize your well-being and self-worth.