Understanding the Differences: Mirror or Absorb Emotions

As an INFJ, I have experienced the phenomenon of absorbing emotions, which I find both challenging and rewarding. Similarly, my INFP friends often speak of absorbing emotions, whereas I seem to mirror them. This article aims to clarify the differences between these two emotional experiences and contribute to a better understanding of our empathetic tendencies.

Mirroring vs. Absorbing Emotions

It is commonly said that INFPs tend to mirror emotions, while INFJs tend to absorb them. However, the terms 'mirroring' and 'absorbing' can be misleading, as the process involves deeper shades of empathy and emotional connection. Let's delve into what these terms actually mean and how they manifest in our daily lives.

INFPs: Mirroring Emotions

INFPs are often described as mirroring emotions, but it is important to note that this term does not fully capture the depth of our empathetic experience. INFPs do not simply reflect the emotions of others without feeling. Instead, we align ourselves with the emotions asynchronously. This process involves mapping the emotional patterns unique to an individual and recreating the emotional experience within ourselves.

Emotional Alignment Process

Listening: INFPs listen intensely to others to fully understand their emotional state. This listening phase is about gathering the necessary data points to recreate the emotional experience closely. Data Collection: INFPs collect the data needed to understand how a particular event makes the person feel. Emotional Matching: INFPs find the emotion that closely matches the other person's experience, even if it takes some time to align.

For INFPs, there might be a slight delay in the emotional response due to this process. This delay allows for a deeper appreciation of the nuances in emotion and how different layers of emotions mix and evolve.

INFJs: Absorbing Emotions

INFJs are said to absorb emotions, which means feeling another person's current emotional state in real time, regardless of whether they want to or not. This absorption occurs synchronously, meaning it is immediate and without delay. This process is often described as an instinctive and involuntary response.

Real-Time Emotional Sensitivity

Instant Empathy: INFJs feel another person's current emotional state in real time, making them highly sensitive to the immediate emotional cues. Uncontrolled: This process is often uncontrollable and can lead to fatigue and emotional burnout if not managed properly.

Empathetic Differences and Synergy

Both INFPs and INFJs have much to learn from each other when it comes to emotional intelligence. INFPs often honor their own emotions first, which can help them understand and manage their own emotional needs. On the other hand, INFJs may feel an urgent need to prioritize others' needs, which can sometimes come at the expense of their own.

Combining Empathetic Approaches

Combining the strengths of both mirroring and absorbing emotions could provide a more comprehensive approach to empathy. Here are some key takeaways:

Self-Honor: INFPs should honor their own emotions first to understand and manage their own emotional landscape. Others' Needs: INFJs should recognize that taking care of others' needs does not necessarily meet all their own needs. Balance: Both individual and external needs must be valued and met to achieve emotional balance.

Conclusion

Understanding the differences between mirroring and absorbing emotions can help both INFPs and INFJs navigate their empathetic tendencies more effectively. By recognizing and integrating these differences, we can foster a deeper and more balanced emotional intelligence.