The Fear of Criticism and the Value of Constructive Praise

Our world is often filled with criticism, both constructive and unconstructive, but it's not always easy to embrace it. In this article, we'll explore why people fear criticism and why praising with intelligence is so valuable. Drawing from a unique perspective, we'll delve into the benefits and importance of both healthy criticism and genuine praise.

The Essence of Criticism

Criticism, when executed appropriately, is like a precious gem. However, in many scenarios, it might seem as simple and unimportant as the weather. In the professional world, judges paid to critique piano performances are an appropriate example: their job is to highlight areas for improvement, ensuring the best possible performance. This is different from the casual criticism one might face in everyday life.

When you find yourself criticizing someone who is not paying you to do so, it’s likely that the relationship is personal—like a brother or a best friend. The reason for this is that to be effective, the person being critiqued must be nearly perfect, or at least have much to improve. After all, why would you bother criticizing a person full of faults? The goal is to inevitably bring them to a higher level of perfection or excellence.

The Challenges of Criticism

Self-criticism, something many people struggle with, is about maintaining one’s integrity and improvements. For instance, my own self-criticism is callous and spare, ensuring my performance stays near perfect. However, this is not a common practice among others. Criticism can be a powerful tool for growth, but it must be done with care, wisdom, and a sense of fairness.

It’s essential to understand that in most societies, people receive more insults and unconstructive criticism than refined, intelligent praise. This leaves those like me—those seeking and giving intelligent critiques—unique. When one is playing in a piano competition, one can expect and receive good criticism, but in everyday life, one mostly gets ugly and stupid insults. The world often lacks sincere praise, and it’s wise to be suspicious of empty compliments.

The Value of Praise

Unlike criticism, praise has the power to embarrass, confuse, or even unsettle some individuals. Excessive praise can become psychologically taxing, triggering a series of reactions that can be unbalancing. Therefore, the best form of feedback is a small amount of intelligent praise and a lot of constructive criticism. It’s remarkable that most people don’t criticize behavior effectively; instead, they often resort to unconstructive attacks or toxic praise.

However, pointing out someone's wrong behavior is not part of valuable criticism. Most decent human beings do not engage in actions that are easily labeled as wrong, and pointing out their flaws requires a significant amount of intelligence. Criticizing behavior effectively is like a delicate dance, far more complex than a bird preening another bird’s feathers.

The Harsh Reality

Given the harsh reality, people often fear being criticized. But truly, there is no one among the people on Earth who can provide constructive criticism to anyone else’s behavior. Instead, they are dysfunctional and cruel. They fear being insulted and targeted by hypocrisy and are often full of hatred, making them unsuitable for criticism. Even the wine taster cannot judge a wine laced with poison; thus, criticizing people full of cruelty and hatred is impossible.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, while people may fear criticism, true criticism lacking in intelligence is unhelpful and deconstructive. True praise and constructive criticism are invaluable for personal and societal growth. In a world filled with toxicity, finding those who can provide intelligent feedback becomes a rare and precious trait. By embracing both, we can build a more understanding and supportive society.