The Dark Side of Arranged Marriages: Exploitation, Discontent, and Emotional Suffering

Arranged marriages, often praised as embodiments of cultural and family values, often conceal a darker and more complex reality. This article delves into the challenges and emotional struggles faced by individuals, particularly women, in arranged marriages, highlighting the systemic issues that contribute to dissatisfaction, deception, and emotional unfulfillment.

Biological and Psychological Drawings: Initial Preference for “Bad Boys”

From a young age, numerous women may be drawn to what is marketed as the ldquo;bad boysrdquo; or alpha males, who are often considered more exciting and sexually appealing. However, as these women mature and their ldquo;sexual market valuerdquo; (SMV) declines, their focus shifts from these passionate figures to more stable and financially secure partners, known as ldquo;beta males.rdquo; This shift is often referred to as the ldquo;Alpha Seed Beta Needrdquo; paradigm, where women, despite their earlier preferences, find themselves settling for partners who can provide financial and emotional stability.

The Alpha Seed Beta Need Paradigm: A Common Phenomenon

Many women, by their late twenties, have evolved from pursuing the genetic superiority of alpha males to seeking financial stability and emotional security in a beta male. The arranged marriage system takes advantage of this shift, often pairing women with partners who might not be their first choice but are more financially stable. This phenomenon not only reflects a natural progression in life stages but also highlights the pressures placed on young women to make socially acceptable choices.

High Incidence of Extramarital Affairs

astonishing 7 out of 10 married women in India are involved in extramarital affairs. This statistic does not merely indicate individual moral weaknesses; rather, it points to systemic issues within arranged marriages. Many women, after settling for beta males, find themselves unfulfilled in their marriages, leading them to seek emotional and physical excitement outside of their marriage. These affairs often involve more dominant and sexually gratifying partners, further entrenching emotional distances and dissatisfaction in arranged marriages.

The Illusion of Stability: A Facade of Societal Pressure and Financial Dependence

Arranged marriages are often seen as stable and long-lasting unions, but this perceived stability is more often attributed to societal pressure, financial dependence, and the stigma of divorce. Many women view their husbands as mere providers, offering security and status without passion or emotional connection. This transactional view of marriage can lead to emotional detachment and a lack of genuine affection, where compliance with marital duties is driven by obligation rather than desire.

The Hypocrisy and Emotional Contentment

There exists a profound hypocrisy at the heart of arranged marriages. Many women, having enjoyed relationships with alpha males during their youth, settle for beta males through arranged marriages. Yet, they often continue to compare their husbands unfavorably to their past lovers, leading to chronic dissatisfaction. This emotional discontent is compounded by the fact that many of these women might return to their ex-boyfriends if given the chance, particularly for the sexual satisfaction their husbands cannot provide.

The Reality of Gender Bias and Legal Exploitation

Men in arranged marriages are frequently at a disadvantage, especially in legal systems heavily skewed in favor of women. False allegations of domestic violence, manipulation of alimony laws, and the pressure to maintain a facade of marital harmony contribute to a system where men are vulnerable to both emotional and financial abuse. In many cases, a woman may continue her affair, exploiting her husband for financial security while seeking sexual and emotional fulfillment elsewhere.

The Cultural Trap: An Outdated System in a Modern World

Arranged marriages are relics of a bygone era where cultural and conservative values dictated social behavior. In modern societies, where individualism and personal happiness are increasingly prioritized, these values often clash with human desires and biological imperatives. The cultural trap of arranged marriages forces individuals into roles that no longer align with contemporary expectations of love, partnership, and personal fulfillment. This results in a system marred by dissatisfaction, hypocrisy, and emotional suffering.

A System in Crisis: Need for Reevaluation and Reform

The dark side of arranged marriages reveals a deeply flawed system that perpetuates emotional unfulfillment, gender bias, and the exploitation of both men and women. Women, driven by biological and psychological imperatives, often find themselves trapped in loveless marriages with men they do not truly desire. In contrast, men are reduced to mere providers, valued more for their resources than for their emotional or sexual compatibility. The reality paints a bleak picture, suggesting a system in desperate need of re-evaluation and reform to meet the evolving needs of individuals in modern societies.