Should You Go on Vacation With Your In-Laws?

Traveling with your in-laws can be a delicate situation, often filled with both excitement and anxiety. The dynamics of in-law relationships can greatly impact your experience, whether it be a simple family trip or a more significant vacation. Here, we explore the pros and cons of vacationing with your in-laws and how to approach such an outing effectively.

Know Your In-Law Dynamics

Only you know whether you get along with your in-laws. This relationship is crucial to consider before embarking on a vacation with them. If you enjoy their company and feel comfortable around them, a get-together can be a wonderful way to bond and create lasting memories. However, if you have a strained relationship or if they are not a part of your core circle, vacationing with them might not be the best idea.

In-laws who are not well-liked can turn a blissful vacation into a stressful experience. For example, "too many cooks spoil the broth" was demonstrated during a memorial service that was not a traditional vacation. The continuous objections and preferences made the event unwelcoming. It is essential to weigh the costs, both in terms of time and money, before deciding to include them in your vacation plans.

Established Relationships Can Be Strong

Whether you have an established relationship with your in-laws or are still developing one, vacationing together can be a significant factor in strengthening your bond. For instance, my second husband's in-laws were incredibly supportive and helped integrate our family into new experiences, like visiting the beach for the first time. With his in-laws, we were able to travel to places that held significant meaning to them, such as Georgia and Louisiana. However, the dynamics changed when one of the in-laws developed mobility issues and another experienced cognitive decline, limiting their ability to travel extensively.

If you have an established relationship, vacationing together can be a fantastic experience. Even in new relationships, if everyone is respectful and mindful of each other's space, a vacation can be enjoyable. It is crucial to ensure that you all have separate rooms to maintain a healthy balance and respect each other's boundaries.

Respect but Stand Your Ground

It is vital to respect your in-laws, but it is equally important not to give them power over your marriage. Remember that you are a unit, and any decision involving your spouse should be made together. During a previous vacation, my mother-in-law misinterpreted the situation and did not want my husband or me to spend time together. However, when explained that she was only there because her daughter bailed, she respected the situation and behaved appropriately for the rest of the trip.

Everyone should be respectful, but standing your ground is crucial to maintain the integrity of your marriage. Be firm and ensure that your in-laws understand that their behavior will not affect your relationship. If necessary, communicate with your spouse to determine the best way to handle any issues that may arise.

Conclusion

In conclusion, whether to go on a vacation with in-laws depends on the nature of your relationship and communication within the family. If you have a positive relationship and can maintain a balance during the trip, such an outing can be rewarding. However, if there are existing tensions or if the trip will likely exacerbate them, it may be better to avoid such plans.

Ultimately, it is about creating a safe and respectful environment for everyone to enjoy the experience without compromising the harmony of your relationship. If your son-in-law enjoys vacationing with you, and you have a good dynamic, then it can be a great experience. If you are unsure, renting a house for the weekend, as you have done for the upcoming wedding, can be a balanced approach to ensure that everyone has a good time without the pressure of a full vacation.

For more tips and insights on family dynamics and travel, keep an eye out for our future articles on similar topics.