Overcoming the Barrier: How to Change When You Don’t Want to

Imagine you identify a behavior that makes you feel like a 'bad person'. This realization can be daunting, but it also presents an opportunity for growth. To overcome this barrier, you must understand why you feel this way and work on changing those behaviors. This article will guide you through the process of self-reflection, setting concrete goals, and pushing yourself to be better.

Understanding Yourself

Before you can start changing, you need to understand what's driving your behavior. Ask yourself: What am I doing that makes me feel like a 'bad person'? Is it something externally imposed or something that I recognize as a flaw within myself?

Research and Reflect

Once you've identified the behavior, do your research. Understand what makes you behave this way and how you can overcome it. This could involve reading books, consulting experts, or discussing the matter with a trusted friend or mentor. Reflect on the root cause of your behavior. Is it a deep-seated issue or a temporary response to stress?

Setting Concrete Goals

Write down explicitly what you want to change and why. For instance, if you smoke cigarettes, write about how you want to quit and what the benefits would be for your health and overall well-being. These goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

Breaking Down and Taking Action

Self-improvement is not an overnight process. It requires commitment, dedication, and effort. Start small. If quitting cigarettes is your goal, perhaps you can begin by reducing the number of cigarettes you smoke each day. Set a small, specific, and achievable goal each week and systematically work towards them.

Examples of Change

Consider the example of a boss who quit smoking after 15 years. It’s not a one-time decision but a process of gradual change. He initially tried to quit multiple times, but it was only after a significant period that he found the determination to succeed. Just like him, you must be patient and persistent in your efforts.

Commitment to Change

There's a famous quote: 'God help those who help themselves.' Change requires your proactive effort and commitment. Recognize that some aspects of your identity are harder to alter, but with time and effort, you can make significant progress. Consider his case: even after 15 years, he was able to break the habit. This is testament to the fact that change is possible, even for long-standing habits.

Encouragement and Support

Remember, changing your behavior isn’t about being less than anyone else. It's about becoming a better version of yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself if progress seems slow. Just take action and see yourself grow. Every small step forward is a step towards becoming the person you want to be.

Wish you luck on your journey towards change and growth.