How to Overcome the Shame of Lowering Your Standards in Career Change

First of all, it’s amazing that you want to change your profession to something that aligns better with your values. This is often the hardest part – allowing the possibility in your mind. So, great job for taking the first step!

It sounds like your values have shifted, making you want to prioritize yourself and do what you believe is best for you. ‘What will everyone think?’ is one of the hardest obstacles we face when we want to change our lives. On my journey from a traditional corporate job to freelancing, I learned something about others that might be useful for you too.

The Two Types of People

Firstly, there are kind people. These are individuals who have faced hardships in life and wish to prevent others from experiencing pain. They genuinely want you to succeed and understand that thinking negatively about others will bring them pain. On the other hand, there are unkind people. These individuals struggle with their own lives and happiness, and often spread pain by thinking and acting negatively. While you might encounter both kinds of people in various proportions, the reality is that you can’t control what others think of you. Their thoughts, whether kind or unkind, are a reflection of their own experiences and habits rather than yours.

Choosing Your Path

There are two things you can do:

Be Kind to Yourself

Clarify your values and live according to them. Embrace the judgment, jealousy, and pain that may come, but recognize that these feelings do not dictate your actions. Instead, follow your intuition and dreams. As you move forward, you will inspire kindness and alignment in others. Even some of the unkind ones may begin to see the beauty in your choices and feel happier.

Be Unkind to Yourself

Self-judgment, negative thinking, and self-doubt will slowly turn you into an unkind, jealous person with low energy and bitterness. If you let fear and doubt guide your decisions, you are helping those negative thoughts win and contributing to a less kind world. However, when you have the courage to follow your intuition and dreams, you contribute to a more positive and compassionate world.

Managing Shame

Let’s talk about managing the feeling of shame. The most effective way is to understand that our thoughts are not facts. Our thoughts are choices, and if we are habitual in our thinking, we can change them. Here’s a model to illustrate:

Reflection on Values: What do you want from this new job? Clearly define the outcome, such as peace. Action Plan: What do I need to do to have peace? For example, finding this job by putting new credentials on LinkedIn. Emotional Connection: What do I need to feel to do that? Maybe feel safe, supported, and confident. Thought Habituation: What do I need to think to feel safe and confident? Perhaps affirmations like, ‘I need to do this for me,’ ‘I believe this is the right thing,’ or ‘I can thrive everywhere.’

Choosing thoughts and affirmations that support your goals is essential. Use these affirmations consistently to form a habit of positive thinking. This can be a powerful tool in managing the shame that may arise during your transition.

Conclusion

Changing something as fundamental and influential as your career is not trivial. Be kind to yourself; it might involve some ups and downs. But do it anyway because the impact can be transformative.

Wish you the confidence and pride to make the right decision! Best of luck!