What Are the Experiences of Dating a Very High-Caliber Investment Banker?

I’ve been dating a banker for over two years and expect to not see them often. My relationship has been long distance for the most part, and we will be moving in together in just three weeks. If you’re dating a first-year analyst, expect to be with someone who works late nights—mostly after 1 AM. They will often take on all-nighters in their workload too.

Since I’ve been a student during our relationship, I would get calls at random times in the day when work was slow or he was waiting for someone to review his work. Most of your conversations will be work-centered, and he will likely want to hear about your exciting university life. Weekends are rare; he may only have Saturdays free, and Sundays are considered workdays.

Weekends and Planning

Weekends are especially precious; if he makes dinner plans, expect them to be pushed back as more work is assigned to him. If you are a planner, you will need to develop a more flexible approach, as his cancellations due to work commitments will be frequent. Planning is often an exercise in spontaneity.

Why It’s Exciting and Different

In a nutshell, dating an investment banker is exciting and different. These are a breed of people who, for the most part, are characterized as alpha males. An intern entry-level employee is always on call, even on Sundays, with little time to date. Middle-level positions get some weekends free, but not much time. Young senior-level employees, in their early to mid-40s, have more time, more money, and are generally still relatively young. However, most are either married, divorced, or lifelong bachelors. The choice comes down to whether you sacrifice time for money or time for relationships.

Lessons Learned and Tips

Expect not to see your boyfriend often, maybe once every few weeks, if you are lucky. He will not have any weekdays free, but you might get an evening or late night out on Friday or Saturday. Never expect to make any plans, as he may cancel last-minute due to work. Everything will be very spontaneous if you are a planner, so it’s best to have an open mind.

Since investment bankers don’t have a lot of time, it can be challenging for them to find the time to think deeply about meaningful gifts. Instead, expect presents of monetary value, such as expensive jewelry and flowers, rather than handwritten cards. This could also be an excuse for them to be lazy, but this job is incredibly demanding, and sometimes it is easier to throw money at something than to use brainpower. Don’t take it personally if they give you a significant gift rather than a heartfelt note.

Investment bankers are known to party hard and get wasted when they go out. They never have time to drink moderately on regular days, so whenever there is an opportunity, they will feel obligated to go overboard. It is generally a challenging experience, and you will need to put in a lot of effort without expecting an equivalent amount of emotional return. Remember, this is a general stereotype, and there are many exceptions to this rule.