Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster: Post-UPSC Preliminary Exam Reflections

After taking the UPSC Preliminary Exam 2022, applicants often find themselves in a whirlwind of emotions. A mix of joy, panic, and anxiety is the norm, as each individual grapples with the unpredictability of the exam, the time they have before the Mains, and their overall preparation level. This emotional journey, highlighted by the need to balance revision, writing practice, and mock tests, plays a crucial role in determining the final outcome.

Post-Exam Unease and Anticipation

While attempting the exam, every aspirant is consumed by nervousness, speculating about the cutoff and the adequacy of their performance. This anxiety is perfectly normal, as UPSC has a reputation for setting uncertain standards. It has not yet concluded, with the inclusion of the CSAT in the next shift, but papers can already be analyzed. The first paper, though varied in difficulty, was generally considered manageable, with an emphasis on economics. With a solid base in NCERT and a bit of current affairs knowledge, any aspirant could have easily passed.

Initial Ecstasy and Guilt

The initial reaction post-upsc prelims can vary widely, from immense elation to a sense of meh. This emotion is heavily influenced by the number of attempts one has made. For instance, my experience in 2010 was particularly memorable. Clearing the exam with minimal preparation filled me with an overwhelming sense of joy. I was so thrilled that I posted the result on Facebook, gloating to anyone within earshot. My friend, who did not clear that year, was gracious but I was so overconfident in my success that I denigrated his situation. “How can you fail in such an easy paper?” I exclaimed.

Realizing the True Nature of Success

However, this triumph in the prelims was short-lived. I was blindsided by the failure in the Mains, which made me realize that success in prelims alone is meaningless. Even a single failure spells out failure. Over time, I grew more introspective. While I felt satisfied and relieved in subsequent years, I no longer broadcast my success widely. Instead, I focused on preparing for the Mains, the more critical phase of the selection process.

Emotional Exhaustion and Burnout

After multiple failures, some aspirants eventually become disinterested in the results of the prelims. Fatigue sets in, and the desire to clear or not clear becomes secondary. In my final attempts, I was so weary that one part of me actually wished for a failure. The journey, though emotionally taxing, prepares one for the long haul, where emotional intelligence becomes a critical factor in navigating the challenges and uncertainties of the exam process.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the experience of taking UPSC Prelims is filled with a spectrum of emotions that can test one's resilience and emotional intelligence. While initial euphoria is common, true success lies in managing these emotions effectively and moving forward with renewed preparation for the Mains. Whether your experience is one of joy or disappointment, it is an integral part of the journey towards becoming a Civil Services Exam (CSE) aspirant.