Navigating the Anxiety of Starting to Date: Strategies for Success

Dating can be a thrilling yet nerve-wracking experience. If you're on the verge of starting a new relationship and feeling anxious, you're not alone. This article will provide you with practical tips and strategies to help you manage and cope with dating anxiety.

Understanding Dating Anxiety

Dating anxiety is a common experience and can stem from a variety of factors, such as fear of rejection, social pressure, or past negative experiences. This anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms, such as butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, or racing thoughts. Recognizing these feelings as a natural part of the dating process is the first step in gaining control over them.

Strategies for Managing Anxiety

Acknowledge and Respect Your Feelings

Method 1 of 11: Acknowledge and respect the way you feel.

It's normal to feel a little jittery and that's okay. Recognize that this feeling is a sign that you care about the outcome of the date and that you're emotionally intelligent. Even if you have a formally diagnosed anxiety disorder, these pre-date jitters are still perfectly normal. Don't beat yourself up over feeling this way.

Just remember, like anything else, dating gets easier and less stressful with practice. If you're younger, you should know that this gets easier over time as you gain more experience and develop confidence.

Put Everything into Perspective

Method 2 of 11: Remind yourself of the objective facts.

Perspective is crucial in managing anxiety. Remind yourself of the underlying realities, such as the fact that if someone agrees to go on a date with you, they think you're worth dating. Also, just because you agree to multiple dates doesn't mean you're flawless; they're dating you because they see potential in you.

Choose Laid-Back Date Activities

Method 3 of 11: Pick laid-back date activities.

Avoid intense and formal dates, and opt for more relaxed activities to lessen the pressure on yourself. Going to an arcade, seeing a movie, or meeting for coffee are great options. These activities allow you to enjoy the moment without the stress that often accompanies more formal dates.

Engage in Pre-Date Self-Care

Method 4 of 11: Engage in some pre-date self-care.

Before your date, engage in activities that help you center yourself, such as yoga, meditation, taking a bath, or going for a walk. This can help you relax and reduce your anxiety. Listening to music, reading, or playing video games can also be soothing and distract you from your nerves.

Look Your Best

Method 5 of 11: Look your best.

While it's obvious, taking time to look good can boost your confidence. Set aside extra time to get ready, iron your clothes, and do your hair. Wear makeup if you use it, and give yourself a compliment. By feeling good about yourself, you'll be better able to handle any anxiety you might be feeling.

Show Up Early and Be Present

Method 6 of 11: Show up to dates a few minutes early.

If you arrive early, you can cool off, gather your thoughts, and adjust your mindset. You can also have a pre-date drink if you're over 21, as long as you don't overdo it. Once the date starts, put your energy into engaging with your partner and asking questions to soothe your anxiety.

Use Coping Strategies

Method 8 of 11: Lean on a simple coping strategy.

If you feel overwhelmed, perform a simple relaxation exercise. You can challenge negative thoughts, perform breathing exercises, take a mental break, count to 10, or identify colors of objects around you. These activities can help redirect your focus and calm your anxiety.

Be Vulnerable and Communicate

Method 9 of 11: Open up to your date as things move along.

As the relationship progresses, be vulnerable and share things about yourself. This can help alleviate your anxiety and build trust with your date. Share a small secret or a quirk that's unique to you. Your date may appreciate your honesty and openness.

Talk to Your Date About It

Method 10 of 11: Talk to your date about it.

If you feel comfortable, you can share your feelings with your date, especially if you've been on a few dates. This can help strengthen your bond and reassure you that everything is progressing well. Remember, your date may feel the same way and be flattered that you think they're worth your nervousness.

Remember: Anxious Feelings Will Pass

Method 11 of 11: Remember these anxious feelings will pass.

While anxiety can be uncomfortable, it's important to remind yourself that these feelings are temporary. Dating anxiety often gets easier over time, both as you build a relationship and as you gain more dating experience. Understanding that these feelings will pass can help you manage them more effectively.

Conclusion: By acknowledging your feelings, putting things into perspective, choosing relaxed date activities, engaging in self-care, looking your best, showing up early, focusing on your partner, using coping strategies, showing vulnerability, and understanding that anxiety will pass, you can effectively manage your dating anxiety. Remember, dating is a learning process, and with practice and patience, it can become less anxiety-inducing.