Navigating a Career with Borderline Personality Disorder: Finding Stability in Black and White

Living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often presents significant challenges in choosing and maintaining a career. However, it's precisely these challenges that can help define one’s path and determine how a person's unique experiences shape their professional journey.

From College to Counseling and Beyond

My academic and career choices were driven by a desire to help. With a degree in Psychology and a minor in sociology, I aspired to make a difference in the lives of children who also struggled with feeling alone and facing adversity. My initial endeavors as a counselor and investigator for the state child protective services were both rewarding and challenging.

Working with children and the fragmented identity typical of BPD was a double-edged sword. While it was fulfilling to connect with others who had similar struggles, it also made it difficult to handle the emotional weight and stress of the job. Hospitalizations and the ultimate resignation from the position due to emotional breakdowns highlighted the limitations my condition imposed on my career.

Exploring Diverse Professions and the Neutrality of Black and White

During my time in the U.S. Navy, I found brief periods of stability in my various roles, including auto body technician and boiler technician. These were jobs where I could concentrate and feel a sense of accomplishment, as long as I was not constantly monitored or given unsolicited advice.

Once diagnosed with BPD three years ago and subsequently receiving a disability, my career path shifted. The need for structure and a clear set of rules brought me to the legal profession. Needless to say, the black and white nature of the law made it an attractive choice. Black and white decision-making processes, rules, and procedures offered the stability I sought.

As a paralegal working for one attorney, I found a natural fit. The legal system provided a framework where emotions could be set aside, and logic and procedure governed every step. This profession not only aligned with my tendency to think in black and white but also allowed me to maintain a professional identity that was less affected by my fragmented internal world.

Committing to a Professional Path with BPD

My career evolution underscores the importance of finding a professional environment that suits one's needs. For individuals with BPD, this often means seeking roles with clear directives and structured environments. The legal profession provides a stability that allows individuals like me to focus on the task at hand while setting aside the complexities of emotional processing.

It is a continuous journey of self-discovery and adaptation. While the fragmented identity associated with BPD can sometimes get in the way, the structured nature of the legal profession offers a pathway to sustained success. In this setting, the emphasis on logic, procedure, and the definitive nature of the law helps to reinforce a sense of normalcy and professionalism.

Ultimately, the goal is not just to survive but to thrive in a way that honors one's strengths and overcomes the inherent challenges. For me, choosing a profession that aligns with my need for stability and neutrality has been a key to enduring professional challenges with BPD.