Navigating Unhealthy Workplace Feelings: A Guide to Emotional Health and Professional Growth

It is common to develop strong feelings for someone in a professional setting. However, when those feelings involve someone who is in a relationship or has a significant other, it can lead to complicated emotions and a challenging work environment. In this article, we will explore the nuances of these feelings, the risk of acting on them, and steps to take to ensure emotional health and professional growth.

The Dangers of Unhealthy Workplace Feelings

When you find yourself falling for someone who is married or in a committed relationship, it is important to recognize the potential risks. Emotionally, such infatuations can lead to intense feelings of discomfort, anxiety, and even depression. Professionally, it can result in reduced job performance, conflicts with colleagues, and misunderstandings with your employer.

To make matters worse, your feelings are not reciprocated, which only exacerbates the situation. Instead of openly addressing it, your boss may remain distant or dismissive, leading to even more complicated emotions.

Example: 'I really liked my boss so I quit to tell him, but he didn’t really reply; he just kinda stared at me with a red face from a distance. Lame. I shoulda kept my job lol.'

This only proves that such feelings can ruin the professional atmosphere and should be addressed.

The Benefits of Staying in Your Job

When faced with this situation, the first question often asked is whether to stay or leave your job. If staying has no significant impact on your mental well-being and does not cause undue financial strain on yourself or those financially dependent on you, it is often best to remain in the position. This allows you to regain control of your emotions and find a path forward.

For instance, if your job pays well and you can maintain a professional demeanor, it can be beneficial to stay. This gives you time to manage your emotions and set realistic expectations for both the workplace and your personal life.

However, staying might not be ideal if it leads to a toxic environment or if you are constantly reminded of the impossibility of your feelings. It is essential to consider your mental health and well-being in these decisions.

Breaking Free from Unhealthy Patterns

The first step to breaking free from these feelings is to understand that they are unhealthy and that acting on them can lead to negative consequences. Once you recognize this, you can begin to distance yourself emotionally from the situation. Here are some practical steps you can take:

1. Distance Yourself

Attempt to pull away from the person in a professional manner. This might mean limiting conversations or even avoiding any unnecessary interactions.

2. Focus on Your Goals

Redirect your focus towards your goals and career aspirations. Develop a plan to achieve these goals, which can include updating your resume, networking, and applying for new job positions.

3. Create New Circumstances

Imagining yourself in a new and different situation can be powerful. Visualize yourself in a new job, surrounded by new colleagues, and without the negative emotions you have been experiencing. Use this visualization as motivation to take action and change your life.

4. Seek Support

(Optional) Consider speaking with a mental health professional who can provide guidance and support as you navigate this situation. They can help you develop coping strategies and provide an outside perspective.

It is important to remember that such feelings are not suddenly diminishing. Recovery takes time, especially when you continue to be exposed to the source of your emotions. Therefore, taking action to remove yourself from the situation is crucial.

Example: 'I’m not a fairy godmother who is promising you that your feelings for this man will instantly vanish. No doubt you’ll need a little time to recover - but for as long as you stay where you are without taking action to put this episode behind you you’ll be postponing that recovery indefinitely.'

Conclusion

In today's professional landscape, it is crucial to prioritize your emotional health and well-being. Unhealthy workplace feelings can lead to significant mental stress and can negatively impact your career. However, by taking proactive steps to address these feelings, you can regain control and work towards your goals. Remember that your well-being is the priority and that taking the necessary steps can lead to a more fulfilling and successful professional life.