My Take on Feminism: A Personal Perspective

I don't believe in the obligation to support something that we don't like or feel is not beneficial to us. The term 'feminism' is often a trigger for toxic individuals, and any conversation about it typically results in unhelpful opinions and arguments. For me, discussing egalitarianism, the pursuit of real equality, is more constructive.

Egalitarianism vs. Feminism

Discussing feminism often leads to discussions about equality, a laudable goal. If someone expresses that they don't need feminism, especially when it disparages others, I accept this stance. Part of the reason feminist ideals are so triggering is because they can be remembered by those who are not well-balanced or mentally sound.

Without the classic ideals of feminism, it's difficult to have any opinion at all. Just because you don't need it doesn't mean others don't. In a society where feminism has played a crucial role in granting women rights and opportunities, dismissing its impact entirely is short-sighted.

The Evolution of Feminism

Classic feminism was not about the lack of women's rights but about women breaking free from stereotypes, receiving equal pay, and not being objectified. From what I have learned, it began with women wanting to live independently, not relying solely on men or marriage. Feminism initially focused on beauty pageants and female models who boycotted Playboy for objectifying women. However, as it evolved, some aspects became more contentious.

Concurrently, feminism took a heavy stance on becoming 'treated like a man, not a woman.' This shift led to concerns about women's dress, homemaking, and personal care routines. When I see the current state of women's attire, home maintenance, and the contrast with how my grandmother dressed and cared for her home, it is indeed horrifying. In 2021, women often seem to have rolled straight out of bed, dressed in what looks like rags, and the houses are not as clean as they used to be. My grandmother, who worked part-time, took pride in her appearance and her home, reflecting true self-worth, not just a desire to be seen as a frontrunner in a movement. Her beauty and strength were a testament to her values.

The Criticisms and Controversies

My mother, a boomer, and I share a disinterest in feminism. We both understand that it has become a polarizing force, often going off the rails. Feminism at times has become about equal pay, rather than substantive equity. The desire to be treated like a man rather than a woman has also contributed to my skepticism. These ideals can be harmful when they lead to behaviors that negatively impact women.

The decline in homemaking and the rise of 'tired bitches' who want to stay at home and save money on daycare costs reveal a disconnect. Women have a significant role to play in the home and in the workplace. Discontent with work-life balance is more about societal expectations than a genuine desire for change. Employers should be prepared to offer maternity leave, and men should be given equal opportunities to contribute and take care of the household. This perspective reflects the reality that many single mothers have faced after being promised self-sufficiency without the support or opportunities that were previously available. The feminist movement, while advocating for independent women, also disregarded the importance of traditional values such as modesty and domesticity.

Men have always been the primary breadwinners, and this dynamic is reflected in the salary gap. There is no need to prove anything with feminism. The existing pay gap is a reflection of the historical and current economic roles of men and women. As a woman, I am grateful for the paycheck I receive, and my personal stance is to focus on my own contribution rather than a collective movement.

Ultimately, I believe in male leadership as it can contribute to a stronger society. However, feminism has had a detrimental impact, leading to women being less engaged in household responsibilities and more focused on personal pursuits. This is not to undermine the importance of these pursuits but to recognize the balance that has been lost. In 2021, women can still choose to participate in traditionally male roles, but the overall societal approach has shifted, often for the worse.

Personal relationships are complex, and while I may prefer spending time with men, it's not because women are catty. However, when women are overly focused on personal grievances, it can be off-putting. Feminism has not proven to be a panacea, and personal happiness and success are not solely dependent on its mandates.

In conclusion, while I respect those who don't need feminism, I also recognize its contributions and the importance of a balanced perspective. The world is complex, and while there is room for improvement, the impact of feminism should be measured against real-world outcomes.