Is There Hope for a Narcissist to Change After 8 Months of No Contact?

Introduction

The question of whether a narcissist can truly change, especially after a long period of no contact, sparks a heated debate among experts and victims alike. In this article, we explore the complexities and challenges of rehabilitation for narcissists and offer insights based on real-life experiences.

The Case Study of the 8-Month Silence

During an eight-month period of no contact, a narcissist unexpectedly reached out with an apology:

“I am a narcissistic c--t. I have recognised what I did to you. I admit to my lies and acknowledge all the pain and hurt I caused. I want to get help to be better.”

This kind of self-reflection is indeed remarkable, but does it mark the beginning of a journey towards change, or is it simply a calculated move to regain control over the victim?

Past Experiences with False Promises

According to the author, similar apologies and promises of change are common in relationships with narcissists. Such promises are often accompanied by the following:

Promise to do anything to win you back Expressions of loneliness and sadness Proposals for therapy

These statements are usually lies designed to manipulate the victim and maintain control. While there is hope for change in some cases, the process can be incredibly long and filled with setbacks.

Real-Life Examples and Lessons Learned

Real-life divorce and dating experiences highlight the consistent pattern of narcissists not fully changing. The author's experience with a narcissist spouse illustrates the following:

Misleading promises and false resolution: The spouse went through marriage counseling but lied and even when confronted with evidence of lies, had excuses for his actions. Weariness and emotional damage: After a year of counseling, the spouse became impatient with the process and eventually called off any further attempts to save the marriage, further damaging the relationship. Maintenance of control through manipulation: The author describes how the narcissist maintained control through false promises and aggressive behavior.

The author has been divorced for almost 3.5 years and is still struggling with dating due to the anxiety of being with someone like the ex-partner.

Expert Opinions and Legal Considerations

Rehabilitation and change in narcissists are complex and often unfruitful. Experts believe that a genuine transformation would:

Involve active visible change. This means genuinely altering behavior over a significant period of time. E(move yourself from the victim's mindset. Letting go of the need to forgive and sweep everything under the rug as the author suggests. Look for red flags. Be wary of any apologies that come without a clear commitment to change.

Conclusion: While sweeping everything under the rug may seem like a fast solution, it can set the stage for repeated manipulation and harm. It's essential to prioritize your well-being and seek professional help if you are dealing with a narcissist.