Is It So Bad Staying Single: A Personal Reflection and Research

As I sit here reflecting on my journey, I find myself at a crossroads. At 70 years old, I have been a widower for nearly six years, living alone far from family and close friends in a small town with little to offer. The reality of my life can feel isolating and lonely at times, particularly on days like my recent birthday when even the simplest pleasures, like going out to dinner, feel beyond reach.

Adapting to a Solitude Life

Despite the challenges, I have come to realize that staying single is not inherently bad. In fact, it offers a level of freedom that many overlook. I have been single for over 40 years, and I have embraced the autonomy that comes with it. No one to ask for permission. No one to cater to but myself. This newfound independence has allowed me to focus on what truly matters, and it has been liberating.

The Drawbacks of Solitude

However, there are moments when solitude feels like a burden. For instance, the incantation of "Willner party of one" from restaurant hostesses can be excruciatingly embarrassing. It is not just one-time occurrences but a recurring theme that can make social outings feel more cumbersome than rewarding. Also, hotel chains and many cruise lines often charge a premium for solo guests, which can feel punitive.

Isolation vs. Joyful Singlehood

Despite these drawbacks, I believe that staying single can be a joyous and fulfilling experience. Comparative research has shown that while relationships require compromise and can be challenging, they can also lead to a healthier, happier, and longer life. When two individuals care for each other with love, great communication, and devotion, the joy of life can be greatly enhanced. It's a challenge, but the rewards are significant.

One common myth is that being single means being stuck in one's ways. However, I find this limiting mindset to be counterproductive. Flexibility and adaptability are essential qualities for a happy and healthy life. Opening oneself to new experiences and trusting relationships can bring much-needed balance and joy.

Embracing Flexibility and Compromise

Compromise, forgiveness, and extending oneself beyond one's comfort zone are all essential elements of a fulfilling life. They may not come easily, but the effort is worth it. Relationships require these qualities, and so does solo living. Flexibility allows us to navigate life's complexities with more grace and resilience.

I am not suggesting that relationships are always easy or that singlehood is a choice for everyone. For some, a warm like-minded friendship might be the best option for a comfortable and fulfilling life. The key is to find what works best for you and to be open to the idea that sometimes the best changes come from stepping out of your comfort zone.

Final Thoughts

So, if you are considering whether it is so bad staying single, I encourage you to reflect on your priorities. Embrace the freedom and the joy that comes with it, but also be open to the possibility that relationships can enhance your life. Life is a journey, and each step offers new opportunities for growth and happiness.

Wishing you joy and more flexibility in your journey.

Keywords: singlehood, relationships, compromise, flexibility