How to Request Additional Time Off After Losing a Spouse: Navigating the System

Mourning the loss of a spouse is a deeply personal and traumatic experience. It requires time, emotional support, and often a significant adjustment in one's routine. In many workplaces, including veterinary clinics, employees are entitled to bereavement leave, which can be extended based on the circumstances. Here's how to approach requesting additional time off after losing your spouse.

Informing Your Supervisor

If you find yourself in a situation where a short period of leave is not sufficient, it's important to communicate your needs effectively. Start by summarizing your situation in a professional yet compassionate manner:

"I email or text the Practice Manager and tell her the dates I'll be off. I advise her that I've put it on our booking system vet clinic so that everyone knows we will be one person down. As a courtesy, I 'ask' if I can have the time off just because it's polite."

This approach acknowledges the policy and the importance of communication.

Discussing Flexibility in Work Arrangements

It might be helpful to explore additional options beyond taking the leave fully paid:

Option 1: One week fully off - even with no pay Option 2: Part-time work Option 3: Some work from home some in the office

These options allow you to maintain some work-life balance while still respecting your grief process.

Understanding Legal and Workplace Rights

Often, individuals are entitled to a minimum of 4 weeks of paid annual leave. If the time off required is longer than a few days, it's advisable to request it well in advance to avoid disruption:

"Since every employee in New Zealand is entitled to at least 4 weeks’ paid annual leave, requesting time off is just routine. If it's going to be a longer time like a month or two, we make sure to put the request in early, like at least 6–12 months ahead, so it's easy to plan the workflow around it."

Exploring Other Forms of Leave

In some cases, the events certainly qualify for a medical or mental health-related leave of absence. It's important to consider this option and discuss it with your doctor:

"The events certainly qualify for a medical, mental health-related leave of absence. There's no fear of losing your job, so you can focus on your emotional and mental health during this time."

Communication with your healthcare provider can provide you with the necessary documentation to support your leave request.

Talking to Your Boss

Direct communication with your boss can be an effective way to ensure your needs are met:

"Speak to your boss. Tell them that you are still grieving and you need another week. More than likely, they will give it to you." "I don’t ask. I tell my team when I take that week of vacation and that’s it. I also check if there’s no important meeting during that time. Since I can take 5 weeks in a year, I don’t really have any restriction about when I take them. It’s just that I must give some notice a few weeks before when it’s more than a few days." "Why would I have to ask anyway? It's in my contract that I can use 5 weeks. I don’t have to ask them again. In fact, I must even use them. I’m not allowed to work a whole year without any vacation. So why should I have to ask?"

These strategies can help you feel more in control of your situation and better equipped to manage your grief process.

Seeking Additional Support

Finally, remember that support from different sources can be incredibly beneficial during this time:

"I hope you have a great group of people supporting you, parents, kids, friends, etc. But if not, who knows support from your co-workers may also help."

Reach out to your colleagues and seek their support if needed, as well as friends and family who can provide additional comfort and assistance during your bereavement.