How INFPs Fight: Dealing with Existential Indignation in a Sensing-Majority Culture
How INFPs Fight: Dealing with Existential Indignation in a Sensing-Majority Culture
Tragically, the common struggles faced by INFPs (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) within a Sensing-majority culture are often misunderstood. Terry, my co-writer who is an INFP, brings these experiences to light, sharing her observations and reflections over the years. Terry has lived with these internal battles for nearly two decades since marrying into a Sensing-majority environment. This article delves into the complexities of INFP personalities, their potential for emotional conflict, and the strategies they use to cope.
Complex Emotional Responses of INFPs
As a member of the INFP personality type, Kay's sensitivity and openness often create a fa?ade of a protective shell. From a young age, Kay, my husband, faced immense challenges in the form of rejection and misunderstanding, leading to a defensive mechanism that manifested in resistance and anger. These reactions stem from a highly intuitive nature that embraces abstract ideas and profound experiences, which contrast sharply with the concrete, rule-following nature of many Sensing individuals.
Existential Indignation and Expression
Existential indignation is a concept that underscores the core issues many INFPs face. Intuitives, driven by their inner vision of potential and idealism, often feel disconnected from the practical, often rigid, expectations of the Sensing world. This disconnect can lead to a deep sense of injustice and a profound feeling of being misunderstood. As Kay puts it, 'We try to avoid it, but we will fire off and throw down with ferocity if need be.' This intensity can be both a source of strength and a potential for conflict.
Strategies to Avoid Conflict
When faced with potential conflict, INFPs often employ a combination of avoidance and forceful reaction. In the absence of physical threat, Kay relies heavily on the power of words. 'If it here is no physical threat but I have been blatantly disrespected, I will pull out vocabulary and phrasing like nothing you have ever seen, and verbally rip you to pieces, leaving you feeling like the lowest form of life on earth,' he elaborates. His words carry weight and are used as a defense mechanism against perceived disrespect.
Physical Threats and Defense Mechanisms
In a more drastic scenario, when faced with physical threats, such as the incident Terry describes in the store, the response becomes more aggressive. 'Black out and start swinging,' Terry explains. 'My mind frame then becomes something like, I don't care if you set me on fire; I will still come after your ass until I make sure to physically hurt as much as I can.' This reaction is a clear indication of the emotional pressure INFPs carry and the intense protective instincts that emerge under dire circumstances.
Emotional Resilience and Growth
Despite these intense reactions, Kay and Terry emphasize the importance of growth and emotional resilience. The past years have seen significant advancements in their emotional regulation. The humor and lightness with which Kay now approaches such incidents are a testament to this development. 'When we do release we often ignite another round of "fight" because our expression is intense and can easily "trigger" emotions in the people around us. But we are learning to manage these emotions more effectively,' Terry concludes.
Conclusion
Understanding the complex emotional responses of INFPs is crucial for anyone in a Sensing-majority environment. While the tendency to fight may seem daunting, recognizing the underlying reasons for these reactions can foster greater empathy and understanding. By acknowledging the existence of existential indignation and the potential for intense emotional release, we can work towards a more harmonious coexistence.