Handling Tough Feedback: Lessons and Strategies for Growth

In the journey of personal and professional growth, one of the most valuable aspects is the feedback we receive. While positive feedback can boost morale and confidence, it is the tough, negative feedback that often serves as a catalyst for significant change and improvement. I would like to share my experiences and strategies for handling tough, negative feedback, particularly in the realms of writing and sales.

From Writer to Published Author

Before I submitted my first book to a publisher, I considered myself a good writer. However, the editor's first feedback was a surprise, to say the least. The entire manuscript was marked up, with pages filled with red ink, indicating extensive changes needed. Initially, the feedback was disheartening, and I felt a strong wave of disappointment and even depression. Nevertheless, I quickly recovered and decided to immerse myself in the work of improving my manuscript. Each subsequent edit taught me valuable lessons, and I incorporated these into my writing process. Today, I have over 60 books published, all with positive reviews. This experience taught me the importance of putting my ego aside, learning from critical feedback, and continually striving to improve.

Strategies for Dealing with Feedback

When receiving feedback, especially tough or negative criticism, it is crucial to approach it with a level head. Here are some strategies I have found helpful:

1. Disengage Your Emotions

It's essential to set aside your initial emotions, such as anger, disappointment, or frustration. Acknowledge these feelings but do not let them guide your response. Prepare yourself to understand the feedback given and what it aims to convey. Approach the feedback with a mindset of learning and improvement.

2. Ask Questions

Ask for clarification and seek examples. This helps to ensure you fully understand the feedback. Questions like, "How did that impact the result? How did that make you feel? What should I have done differently? Why is this important?" can provide deeper insight into the feedback and its implications.

3. Understand the Intent Behind the Feedback

Assume that the person providing the feedback is trying to help you improve. Even if the feedback is not entirely positive, it often provides valuable insights. Thank the provider for their input and take the time to reflect on it. This show that you value their input and are open to learning.

4. Separate Feedback into Helpful and Non-Helpful

Not all feedback is equally beneficial. Some feedback might be too off-target, overly focused on personal style, or based on incorrect assumptions about your purpose. It's okay to thank the provider and consider the feedback later. Evaluate which parts are truly helpful and which can be set aside.

5. Take Time to Reflect

After receiving feedback, take some time to reflect. This will help you process the information more effectively and decide which aspects to apply to your work or behavior. Reflecting allows you to make informed decisions rather than reacting impulsively.

Personal Experience with Sales Feedback

One of the toughest pieces of feedback I received was from my boss when she told me to become more aggressive in my sales pitches. I had always been a shy person, so this was a significant change for me to make. Initially, it was a difficult adjustment, but I recognized the importance of taking the feedback seriously. I focused on becoming more assertive and eventually saw positive results. This experience taught me the value of taking criticism seriously and not letting it deter me from making necessary changes. It is crucial to understand that feedback is often given to help you improve, even if it is challenging to accept.

Conclusion

In summary, while tough feedback can be disheartening and challenging to accept, it is an invaluable resource for growth and improvement. By disengaging emotions, asking questions, understanding the intent behind the feedback, separating helpful from non-helpful advice, and taking time to reflect, we can transform negative feedback into a catalyst for positive change. Whether in writing, sales, or any other aspect of our lives, open-mindedness and a willingness to learn are key to success.

Keywords

feedbackcriticismimprovementlearningself-improvement