Earning a Dog's Respect: Leadership and Calm

It's a common misconception that earning a dog's respect involves using aggressive tactics or strict dominance. In reality, effective leadership is all about fairness, consistency, reliability, and calm demeanor. When a dog respects its leader, it means that the dog is willing to follow commands and behave properly in various situations.

Understanding the Core of Respect

A dog respects a leader who is fair, consistent, reliable, and calm. A bully or an emotionally reactive human or dog is not a credible leader. Dogs understand intuitively that unnecessary conflict endangers the pack. Just like a pack leader in the wild, your dog will only respect you if you can demonstrate leadership in a calm and assured manner. This is achieved not by being aggressive, but by being a wise guide that can defuse conflicts effectively.

To witness what a true pack leader looks like, observe their behavior during conflicts. A good leader remains calm and can defuse a dangerous situation without engaging in overtly aggressive actions. Instead, a good leader will often redirect the situation, just like a skilled trainer would.

Case Study: Cara, Carly, and Penny

One of my dogs, Carly, was a reactive dog who couldn't tolerate the presence of other animals. I started by ensuring she had a solid recall and a solid Leave-it command. However, that wasn't sufficient to handle her reactivity. The first step was to get her to tolerate other dogs by offering something she wanted, but not a treat, as that would only escalate her guarding behaviors. Instead, we would walk her off-leash on trails and fields where other dogs walked. This was done only after I had established her trust and reliability.

My other dog, Penny, was a natural pack leader. She had a calm commanding presence that no other dogs could miss. Penny could defuse any conflict, even with the most aggressive dogs. She often redirected situations by gently interrupting and then engaging in playful activities like hunting squirrels, which also helped her bond with other dogs.

Dealing with Bullies

Bullies pose a significant challenge, but even they can learn to respect a true leader. For example, Nike was a real bully who constantly fought and used unethical methods to control other dogs. His owner, unfortunately, told him not to worry, which is a common mistake made by well-meaning but misguided handlers. However, dogs are social animals, and they often resolve conflicts on their own. In one instance, Penny, my calm and assertive leader, approached Nike and demonstrated dominance by humping him. This made Nike behave more responsibly around other dogs.

Leadership, whether in humans or dogs, is all about earning respect through consistent and fair behavior. It's not about acting like a loose cannon or an asshole. When we demonstrate strength through calm and confident actions, we earn the respect of our pack, whether it consists of humans or animals.