Dining Etiquette with Coworkers: What You Should Never Do

When it comes to dining with coworkers, it is essential to be aware of the unwritten rules that could significantly impact your professional life. Whether it’s a casual dinner or a more formal work event, your behavior and the choices you make can reflect on your professional image. Here are some key points to consider:

Understand the Real Implications of After-Hours Work Events

Restaurants, bars, and casual meetups after work offer opportunities for you to let your guard down. However, these settings can be detrimental to your career if you are not mindful of your words and actions. Remember, behavior outside of work can reflect back on the workplace, often in subtle or not-so-subtle ways. For instance, a boss's drunken rant or a casual slip of the tongue can be misinterpreted and contribute to negative perceptions about your suitability for the job.

Respect Hierarchies and Lead by Example

Your behavior should be slightly more conservative than that of your superior during these events. Adhering to the lead of your manager or those in higher positions helps maintain a balance, ensuring that you do not outshine them. When it comes to ordering food, it's a good idea to follow their lead and order a slightly less expensive dish compared to what they choose. For instance, if your boss orders surf and turf, order a steak. This subtle difference shows that you understand the unwritten rules of office dining.

Opt for Tranquil Orderings and Avoid Overexposure

Be cautious when choosing dishes. Avoid ordering anything too sophisticated or exotic unless you are confident in your ability to manage the conversation. For example, ordering squash stuffed ravioli with truffle sauce might appear pretentious and could ruffle feathers, even if you personally enjoy it. Similarly, avoid ordering dishes that you have never tried because they might come across as superficial. However, if your manager insists on a certain dish, it's usually acceptable to follow their lead.

Handle Alcohol with Care and Respect Boundaries

Alcohol consumption can be a double-edged sword. While it might be tempting to join in the festivities, be mindful of your tolerance and control. If you know that drinking will make you belligerent or talkative, reconsider drinking altogether or limit your intake. For instance, if you witness instances where overindulgence leads to negative consequences, it's better to avoid it. Additionally, if you do not drink, know that others might judge your behavior. Therefore, it's important to be prepared for the social pressure without succumbing to it.

Be Considerate and Professional

While it might seem like a great idea to dive into an after-dinner dessert or drinks, think twice. Order something that won't overshadow the main meal or inconvenience others. If your manager or colleagues order dessert, it's usually better to follow their lead. Similarly, sharing the bill can sometimes be a touchy subject. Offer to split the check to avoid any lingering awkwardness or disagreements over payments.

Avoid Unprofessional or Inappropriate Behavior

It's crucial to maintain decorum, even during casual events. Never hit on a coworker, especially if there are signs or signals that might be misinterpreted. A light-hearted action can backfire, leading to uncomfortable situations or even termination. This is particularly important when dealing with individuals who might be under the influence of alcohol. After all, judgment can blur, leading to actions that can have long-lasting consequences.

Personal Reflections and Real-Life Examples

One example that comes to mind is working with a startup where I was the oldest team member. The environment was energetic, pushing everyone to the limits. I found myself unable to keep up with the pace, which was both challenging and demotivating. During a weekend retreat, I was clearly out of my league physically and had to face the reality that my age was becoming a more prominent issue. This experience reinforced the importance of maintaining a professional demeanor and respecting the dynamics of diverse teams.

The key takeaways are simple yet profound. Always be considerate, respectful, and professional. Understand that the events you attend with your coworkers are much more than just a casual meal; they can shape how your professional life evolves. By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your initiative, respect, and professionalism are consistently recognized and appreciated by your colleagues and superiors.