Dealing with Subconscious Side Vision and Crowds: A Journey of Mental Wellness

Growing up, we all face numerous challenges that can impact our mental well-being. One unique experience shared by many is the subconscious use of side vision in crowded or stressful situations. This can be particularly challenging when attending offline classes after a period of social isolation. In this article, I will share my personal experience, coping strategies, and the lessons I learned.

Background and Initial Challenges

My Background: My name is Alex, and I turned 18 this year. After the COVID-19 pandemic, I began attending offline classes for the first time in about 2-3 years. Despite not having social media during that period, I had lost touch with my old friends. The new classroom was a mix of different friend groups, leaving me feeling isolated and anxious.

When I first joined, everything seemed normal. However, after just two months, we had to shift to a new classroom. That was when the real struggle began. My story begins with my subconscious use of side vision, a phenomenon that seemed to worsen with time.

The Onset of Unusual Behavior

I was wearing glasses, and one eye had a much higher prescription than the other. Surprisingly, this did not play a significant role in my behavior. I had the ability to see peripherally, and my habit of looking at people subconsciously began to develop.

Initially, I was just daydreaming, but then I would realize, "Oh, I saw someone with blurry vision." Realizing that everything was blurry without my glasses, I tried to turn my head and look away. However, after just a minute, I would find myself staring at others again. This behavior was not only uncomfortable but also isolating, as everyone began to notice my peculiar behavior.

The Intensification of the Condition

The intensity of my side vision behavior intensified with each passing day, especially during class. I started to feel embarrassed and frustrated. At times, I would even feel the urge to curse myself or beat myself. This behavior was so annoying that my studies suffered, and I was left feeling isolated, as friends were not willing to help.

Coping Strategies and Improvement

Over time, I stumbled upon a few coping strategies that helped me manage the condition:

Sit in a corner seat: Focusing on a corner seat helped minimize direct eye contact and reduce stress. Use hands: Acting lazy-like and resting my hands on my face with fingers beside my eyes helped maintain a natural appearance without drawing attention. Distract during breaks: Using my phone to stay focused on something else, such as browsing or watching videos, during breaks was effective in reducing the behavior. Focus on surroundings: Instead of dwelling on why I was staring at someone, I focused on unrelated details like their outfits or surroundings. Improve fashion sense: Studying color theory and developing a sense of fashion helped shift my focus and boost my confidence.

Through these strategies, I gradually improved. While my side vision behavior still occurs, it is significantly less frequent. I have also noticed a significant reduction in anxiety and an increased willingness to interact with others.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Dealing with side vision and the anxiety associated with it is a journey of self-improvement. Recognizing the issue and seeking effective coping strategies is the first step towards managing these challenges. I hope my experience and methods can provide some inspiration to those facing similar struggles. Remember, you are not alone, and with time and effort, you can overcome these mental hurdles.

Update: It has been almost a year since I last wrote. I am happy to share that my situation has significantly improved. While I still experience the occasional troubling moment, my overall well-being has greatly enhanced. Focusing on myself and my well-being has brought me closer to a happier and more balanced life.