Common Business Jargon That Annoys Me: The Perils of Corporate Speak

Have you ever found yourself in a meeting or discussion where everyone is throwing around jargon and abbreviations, leaving you feeling more lost than informed? As someone who works from home and relies heavily on conference calls, I can attest to the annoyance that can come with hearing business-related jargon. Not only does it make communication confusing, but it can also create a feeling of alienation among non-specialized individuals.

Terms That Drive Me Crazy

The Fed

One term that I hear frequently and find particularly annoying is the abbreviation of the Federal Reserve as 'the fed.' Phrases like 'I just got off the phone with the fed' or 'Ha ha. The fed screwed this up' are common conversation starters. This shorthand may be convenient for those well-versed in finance, but for the average person, it can be maddening. The fed, in all its complexity, might be more accurately described as the central banking system of the United States, but using the simplified term can often lead to miscommunication and a lack of clarity.

Bio-Breaks

Another term that irritates me is 'bio-break.' When a colleague on a conference call would interrupt a long session to suggest everyone take a 'bio-break,' I was left wondering why a simple stop for restroom use couldn't just be called that. The term 'bio-break' implies something more elaborate, which is just unnecessary and time-consuming. The reality is, if no one comes back after a few minutes, you can assume they are using the restroom. If they really need to announce it, a simple 'I need to take a break for a minute, I'll be right back' would suffice.

Due Diligence and Covering Ass

Another phrase that grates on my nerves is 'I’ve done my due diligence.' In a business context, this is often used to mean 'I’ve covered my ass.' While the meaning might be similar in a literal sense, there is a world of difference between doing thorough research and simply protecting one's position. Often, the term is used to cover up a lack of real effort or to avoid taking responsibility. In customer service or any other field where honesty and transparency are valued, using 'I’ve done my due diligence' can come across as evasive and untrustworthy.

Why Does This Matter?

Business jargon has reached a fever pitch, and it's become so pervasive that it's almost absurd. It's easy to forget that the vast majority of customers and clients are ordinary people from all walks of life who may not be familiar with the latest tech lingo or obscure abbreviations. For example, when companies use terms like 'ROI,' 'KPI,' 'MVP,' or 'pivot' without explanation, they are alienating their audience.

Here's a simple truth: if you want to sell things to people, write about them in non-technical, ordinary words that they can understand. It's not rocket science. In fact, it takes more effort to complicate things than to use simple, clear language. Imagine if every phone call included as many baffling business terms as possible. Communication would be impossible. It's time for businesses to rethink their approach and focus on clear, straightforward communication.

The Impact of Jargon

As someone who has had to deal with an overwhelming amount of jargon in my work environment, I can attest to its negative impact. The creation of office jargon by business school analysts and corporate bean counters is driven by the desire to save costs and maintain a level of control over their workforce. These terms turn office workers into mindless pawns, ready to execute the bidding of the corporate leadership without questioning the rationale behind the terms used. It's a system that prioritizes efficiency and control over clarity and understanding.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while some may find business jargon necessary for precision and efficiency in certain fields, it often serves to alienate and confuse the average person. It's time for businesses to strive for clear, straightforward communication that can be understood by everyone. By doing so, they can foster better relationships with their customers and employees, leading to more productive and effective collaborations. So, if you want to be heard, speak clearly, and avoid the business jargon that makes everyone's skin crawl.