Forcing Change vs. Choosing Change

Those who struggle with addiction often find it the most challenging to change their behaviors. I know this from personal experience. We all know the struggle of addiction, but catching that one bad habit and replacing it with another?

A Cursed Cycle

Breaking one addiction leads to finding another to fill the void. I have worked through therapy for the past three decades and it's still a daily battle. So, be patient and kind to yourself. One day at a time is the mantra here. Whatever help you seek, remember, true change comes from within. Pray for it, wish for it, but you must actively pursue it.

The Will to Change

Changing your life requires a fierce commitment. It's like pushing a rope uphill; you must light the fire yourself. Someone else's spark will not sustain your effort. It’s your struggle. If you don't ignite that inner flame, no one else can do it for you.

The Power of Perception

How you perceive someone affects how you view them, not how they are seen by others. We all change daily. Your cells are constantly renewing themselves. In a way, you are a new you every single day. So, don't think that merely trying to change others will actually change them. People do what they want, and that's their free will. True self-love and respect for the other person are the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. If you try to control someone, it's manipulation, not love. Love is acceptance and freedom.

Forced Change vs. Voluntary Transformation

Behaviors can be forced to change through punishment or threats, but such changes are fleeting. Temporary behavior modifications last only as long as the threat remains. True, lasting change requires a personal desire for improvement. Without that internal drive, any external intervention will be as effective as a tree trying to push a boulder.

External Influences on Change

External factors play a significant role in our behavioral changes. Life-changing events can force someone down a different path. A prison sentence is sometimes the critical turning point that changes a person's life permanently.

However, while this may work for a few, prisons are often full of repeat offenders, indicating that true transformation is rare. Other cases involve marriage introducing a new kind of stability and responsibility, sometimes due to the presence of children. A child needs a parent, and having that dependency can motivate a significant shift towards parenting responsibilities and maturity.