What Marriage Advice Would a Baby Boomer Give to a Millennial?

Oh boy! Here is a funny question that has entitlement behind it. But the reality is, you're asking because you're not a baby boomer. A baby boomer would tell you to walk down the street, find a job, work 50 hours a week and put aside some money for the house. Then, the baby boomer would politely tell you that if you don't like that job, you just go next door and get another job. Because, after all, jobs are fully available at moments' notice, right?

Yes, and somebodys' mind—and entitled mind! Everything is available. So, let's say you've taken this advice. Your next step is to go out, purchase a car and the home of your dreams because this is exactly what you're supposed to do. Upon retrieval of the ideological, sociological, non-existent future, you then meet somebody on the street with a ton of education but unfortunately, living out of their car. This person has nothing wrong with them but they in fact let you know that life is not what you make of it and fate is for the fateful few. They then tell you that they've worked hard their entire life just to barely be where they're at now. They're not ashamed, but they do...

Genuine Love and Commitment

The millennial asks, 'What would a baby boomer say about love and commitment in a marriage?' The answer lies in genuine love and commitment. When your desires are motivated by what will make the other happy and you place the other's well-being and good above your own, you love them. Realize that your commitment is not just to the other person nor is it contingent upon your emotions. Your commitment is also to the marriage itself.

Your emotions will fluctuate over time. But the commitment is to weather the storms together. Relationships that work and that last for a lifetime require work. It requires sacrificing some of yourself and deference to the other's needs in order for you both to become one. You should not have to sacrifice everything you are. But you each must be willing to sacrifice some part of "self" in order to allow individualistic thinking to wither as the pairing begins to grow. When you disagree, realize that this is normal. And consider carefully anytime you take a position against your mate. If it isn't worth fighting for, be willing to just let it go. Your success is the other's success. A win for the other is still a win for you as well.

Sex and Children in Marriage

Sex is really important. It helps to bond the individuals together, and it needs to be centered around pleasing the other as well as yourself. You need to find pleasure in giving pleasure to the other. Selfish sex where your concern is only your own orgasm is of no value in the long-term relationship. Babies, on the other hand, do not simplify things or serve as a glue to the relationship UNLESS your relationship is already rock solid. Children complicate things because now, instead of two individuals working to please the other, you have a third interest involved that may pull at the threads that bind the two parents together. Never even consider children unless and until the two would-be parents are so firmly committed to each other that they have already withstood many storms and proven that the relationship is on solid footing.

Remember, what a baby boomer would advise you is grounded in a different era and mindset. However, the core values of love, commitment, and understanding remain universal.